Wedding Planning 101 : 8 Ways to get Your Man more Involved
Many Brides feel alone in the wedding planning process. With all of the options of colors, hair, photography, food, theme, dresses, and everything else that comes with planning a wedding; it can be truly overwhelming at times. When she gets overwhelmed, more often than not she will look to her Groom for support; however, many Grooms don’t meet the expectations their Bride has of them when it comes to wedding planning. Because it’s “his wedding too” most Brides feel like he should naturally be interested in one of the most important days of both of their lives; however, sometimes this just isn’t the case. So how do you get your guy interested in wedding stuff without overwhelming him or getting turned down completely? Below are 8 Ways to get Your Man more Involved.
1. Let Him Manage the Wedding Budget
Since setting a budget that will work for you and the Groom (or your parents) is one of the first steps of the wedding planning process, it’s a pretty important issue to have covered. If your man has a knack for math or is good with managing finances this is a great way to include him in the wedding planning process. He can be your ground when you’ve had an electric day of browsing Pinterest and are ready to hit the craft stores. It gives you a point of communication regarding wedding stuff and a way to ask his opinion without overwhelming him. Guys are usually reason-based thinkers so while your mind is on which napkin color will look best with your display- he will be concerned about the end goal: will it fit into your planned budget. So instead of bombarding him about his artistic opinion, narrow it down to a matter of cost and he will help you decide which option is better or if it’s worth the splurge. This might also prove useful for getting his interest with all the various vendors involved with the wedding if he’s interested in trying to get the best product for the best price.
2. Writing Vows
Weddings are beautiful events and there are several moments in the day that are emotional for both the Bride and Groom. Guys usually aren’t overly emotional beings and some guys even stress about whether or not he will cry when his Bride walks down the aisle. A great way to get your guy emotionally involved in your wedding day is for you both to write your own vows. Maybe it’s difficult to express words but just encourage him to keep it simple and true. If he’s completely not the romantic type then maybe this isn’t the best path and traditional vows are for you; but if he ever wrote you a love letter then this is just an extension of that.
The wedding reception is one of the most fun parts of the wedding day- it’s the celebration part of the marriage. Most wedding receptions boast of great food, delicious cake and fun wedding music. If your guy is into audio; having him in charge of the wedding playlist is a great way that he can be personally involved. Let him pick out the song he walks down the aisle to; let him choose what will be the most fun song to enter the reception to; and let him choose some fun wedding dance music for all of the dancing that will occur later in the night. Most couples choose to pick out the first dance song together; however, if he has any ideas or you already have a special song- be sure to listen to his input on these things.
4. Picking out his own tux
Most girls dream about their wedding day and have a dream dress idea in mind sometimes before they are even engaged. Guys are usually not so enthused about their apparel but some are! If you man enjoys picking and choosing his clothing or just has a taste for men’s fashion then let him take charge of his and the groomsmen’s wedding attire. You can still give him a color scheme so that he stays with the wedding theme; however, beyond that, let him choose an outfit he is going to feel amazing in on his wedding day. Even if he is not a fashionista, most guys are going to care about the fit of the tux and some men may even like the look of a formal suit and tie instead of a tuxedo.
We’ve often heard the saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” If you want to get to your man’s heart on the wedding day, why not with some delicious wedding food of his choosing. Let him help with picking out the food. Involve him in the tasting and wedding planning in these areas and listen to his interests and likes even if it doesn’t fit into your perfect model. If his ideas are way out of range then at least try to include them in some way such as the cocktail hour, hors de’ vours, appetizers or side dishes. Another great way to get him involved with the wedding food is to let him have charge of his groom’s cake. Take him to the cake tasting so he can sample your cake as well; this would be a fun thing that even if he doesn’t offer any input he might really enjoy this part of the planning. If he isn’t having a grooms cake consider including one of his favorite flavors to your cake. The wedding day is often centered on the bride and in many cases it is ultimately her decisions and likes that take center stage and have the final say; but it is also his most important day and his likes an interests should be included.
6. Cater to his interests
If your man likes arts or crafts, let him help with some DIY wedding decor- let him design the guest book or create the place settings. If he is into order or “technical” stuff, let him help with assigning the seats or creating directions to the more difficult to find venues. If he is a liquor connoisseur then let him be involved in the special drinks the bartenders will be having or put him in charge of stocking the bar with the best liquors. In other words don’t try to plug him in areas that he has no interest for, but rather find what he likes or the areas where he is most creative and involve him in those places.
7. Support and Encourage his ideas
The quickest way to make him shut down in the wedding process is for him to believe that his ideas are unimportant to you. Make it a point to listen to his ideas, to consider them, and to utilize them where you can. Make him feel like he is the most important man, the most important heart, and the most important voice that you hear. Yes, wedding planning is stressful and there are some things (like color coordinating flowers) that women are typically better at; however, if he offers input be sure to include it when you can. There is a lot of pressure on the Bride to make decisions and with most everyone saying that it’s what she wants that matters it can be overwhelming at times. With all this pressure, some Brides try to take on all of the responsibility and become somewhat “control freaks”. If you want your man to be involved in the wedding day, controlling him is not the way to go. Let go of the reins and weigh the importance of your decisions. If the decision is something that is very important to you then stay true with that; however, if it is something that you can do without- compromise. Work alongside your groom to get him involved, not against or ahead of him.
8. Don’t expect him to dote over the “girly” decisions
Most Brides really do want the Groom to be involved with the wedding planning process. We want to know his thoughts and decisions and we want this to be his day as much as it is our day. Include your man in every area you can and be considerate of his tastes; however, don’t expect him to go out of character and to be something he is not. Not all men are interested in decorations, or style, colors, or design. He may offer up an opinion, but more often than not he is just going to defer to what you think. If your guy doesn’t often color coordinate, help with decorating the house or scroll through Pinterest then expecting that of him on a day that he feels like every detail is supposed to be perfect, is going to cause a lot of stress. He may not offer input in those areas because he feels he doesn’t have the knowledge to offer input or he’s worried about how you want things. Be considerate of his feelings and don’t expect him to be someone he’s not.